The Weight of New Beginnings

For the past month and a half, life has looked very different.

After earning my Bachelor's degree in Psychology, I knew it was finally time to step into the field. It was time to stop learning only from textbooks and begin leaning from people. To gain the hands-on experience that will continue shaping me as I pursue higher education and, ultimately, the career God has placed on my heart.

Not to mention that it has been a very long time since I had searched for a job!

For years, my focus has been my family and my education. I am incredibly blessed to have a husband who has carried the responsibillity of providing for our family while I pursued my degree. His unwavering support gave me the opportunity to invest in my future, and I will always be grateful for that gift.

So, I updated my resume, and began submiting applications.

If you know me, you know I don't take certain tasks (or most tasks) lightly.

So, I prepared. Extensively!

And to be honest, an interview to me felt like an exam! So, I researched the organization, studied each job description, thought through potential questions, reflected on my experiences, and rehearsed my responses until I felt prepared. It's simply who I am. Preparation gives me confidence!

As the intrviews continued, and to my surprise....

The offers started coming!

What began as hoping someone would give me a chance quickly became the responsibility of choosing between opportunities.

And while I should have felt nothing but excitement....

Anxiety quietly crept in, as well as imposter syndrome. Both hit me harder than I anticipated.

Who was I thinking I could apply for positions like these?

Am I even experienced enough?

Would they be able to realize I didn't know enough?

Do I really belong in this field?

I wasn't just thinking about accepting a job.

I was thinking about everything else.

How would I continue pursuing graduate school?

How would I still be present for my family and children?

How would I continue serving in my volunteer roles? Or have time to write for my blog?

When would I make time for myself?

Ugh, the questions that invaded my mind became endless.

I found myslef trying to solve every future problem before I had even accepted a position! At times, they almost convinced me to doubt everythng I have worked so hard to accomplish...anxiety and stress slowly consumed me. I lost sleep, my hair began to fall out.

Then, in then middle of all that overthinking, I was reminded of a verse that I've read many times before but despirately needed in that moment:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your way submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3:5-6

Those words settled my heart.

I realized I was trying to map out every detail of a future that God had already gone before me in. I remebered the years of sacrifice, the countless nights spent studying, moments I questioned whether I could even finish my degree, and the ways life has stretched me, humbled me, strengthened me, and grown me. I remebered that I wasn't looking for someone to hand me success. I was looking for an opportunity.

An opportunity to learn, grow, gain experience, and build meaningful relationships. So, I began reminding myself of something simple:

I am going to be okay!

God knows my heart. He knows my desire to continue my education and how deeply I value being present for my family and children. He knows my passion for serving others through the non-profit organizations I volunteer at. He even knows how much this blog means to me. If He has opened these doors, then He also knows which one will allow me to flourish while remaining faithful to the priorities He has placed in my life.

A wonderful concept I continuously reflect on by Carol Dweck, which she writes about in Mindset, where she explains the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. A fixed mindset tells us we have to prove ourselves, that if we don't already possess the knowledge or experience, then perhaps we don't belong. A growth mindset, however, reminds us that abilities are developed through learning, perseverance, and experience.

That truth challenged me.

I had been looking at job descriptions and interviews as if I needed to arrive already fully equipped. But that's not how growth works. Every psychologist, counselor, researcher, and leader was once a beginner. They learned by showing up, asking questions, accepting feedback, and allowing themselves to grow.

Instead of asking myself, "Am I good enough?" I began asking a different question:

"Am I willing to learn?"

The answer is, without hesitation, yes!

I dont't expect to know everything on day one. In fact, I hope I never stop learning. This realization shifted my perspective from needing to prove myself and be in control, to simply embracing the opportunity to grow.

Perhaps that's what growht really looks like.... not pretending to have all the answers, but having the humility and courage to keep learning.

Honestly, when I combine this mindset with my faith, I find tremendous peace. I realize that God isn't asking me to be the finishedd product before opening a door. He is inviting me into a season where He would continue shaping me. My responsibility isn't to be perfect; it is to be faithful, teachable, and willing to take the next step He places before me.

I genuinely don't know exactly what this next chapter will hold.

But I know I am excited, hopeful, and grateful.

I trust that wherever God leads me next will be exactly where I am meant to be.

Maybe you're starting a career, returning to work after years away, going back to school, or stepping into something that feels bigger than you.

If this is you, let this be your reminder:

You don't have to have every answer before taking the next step.

Becoming,

Wendy